Before Thanksgiving break, I’d spoken with my principal about my intention to not renew my contract after this school year. Many emotions were wrapped up in this decision, but I was bolstered by the conviction that I was doing the right thing for me. Today was the second day back after said break, and by the end of the day, any lingering feelings of guilt or doubt were effectively dispelled.
As students made their way to the last class period of the day, I heard some commotion in the hallway below mine and began going downstairs. For context, I have a 4-foot wooden rod that I keep as a teaching prop and elaborate fidget spinner. I’ve had this thing for close to six years at this point. Upon realizing I had it with me, I left it behind on the staircase to keep it out of the way of people in the fight. It took some time and several adults to subdue one of the combatants, as he was presumably an athlete and far taller than me. The student was relentless and aggressively tried to break free of the restraining administrators. The principal was one of the people involved in trying to de-escalate the situation.
As things seemed to be calming down, I then noticed one of my colleagues had presumably located my stick either on the stairs or in the hands of a student, and he was standing nearby. I approached him to retrieve it when the student began thrashing and trying to escape the administrators. They all bumped into the teacher holding the stick, which was broken in half. Thankfully, no one was hurt in the scuffle. Once the student was corralled into a classroom, I decided my part in the ordeal was over. I retrieved my broken stick and returned to my classroom.
My students didn’t take long to make their way to class. I was frustrated and annoyed to see so many of them watching the fight video and talking about it incessantly. There are so many things my students do that drive me up the wall, but I think their obsession with fights and replaying the event over and over again is the worst offense. It’s so crass and gauche… I find it actively disgusting. The culture of violence is bad enough, but the hold it has on their imaginations and their attention is simply astounding.
I still don’t know what the future holds for me, but it’s certainly time for a change, and the events of today just further cemented it in my mind. I took a year off during peak covid, and while that time was relaxing and generally a positive experience, I did not take full advantage of the opportunity and, if I’m being honest, squandered much of it. This time will be different, if only by virtue of the fact it’s no longer the middle of a pandemic, though who knows what other modern horrors await us.
Teaching is one of my greatest passions, and it breaks my heart on a daily basis just how little my students seem to want to learn from it. I hope to find ways to effectively engage with learners of all ages and backgrounds once I set off on my own. This isn’t the first time I’ve taken a sudden turn in life. Still, hopefully, it will allow me to find the kind of fulfillment lacking in a traditional classroom.
